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Whenever I’m all alone in my room, my mind’s crammed with everything that’s ever been said to me, flicking through the insults, vicious words and threats again and again. Darkness fills the room as well as my thoughts. Gravity loses control over my mind, but fights down my body. My body collapses on my room’s  dark coloured timber floor, my mind however remains floating in its with witlessness packed infinite darkness. After a while my eyelids obtain the strength to open themselves, giving my pupils full access to the sharply bright sunlight entering my room though the large window on the west side of our Victorian house. I sit up straight, going the extra mile to keep my body from shaking as an addict in withdrawal. For a moment, my mind’s empty. No harsh words, no death wishes, no pain. Unfortunately, this pacific moment lasts for only a short period of time and is replaced by Amy’s last words aimed at me. “You’re a useless piece of crap. How could you ever consider yourself worthy of living? Don’t you see how your presence ruins all our lives? How can you be such a selfish piece of crap? We’re all better off if you’d just take your own life and piss the fuck off. ” Tears spring in my brightly blue coloured eyes. I squint my eyelids, causing the tears to roll down my face, some of them ending up on my lips. With my tongue I go along my lips, savouring the salty taste of pain and wretchedness. After all these years I got used to this taste, it’s the only thing that makes me feel comfortable, the flavour has become my comfort-zone and therefore I enjoy it.



Als je het niet snapt en vertaling wilt, zeg het dan even dan omschrijf ik het even in drie zinnen of zo.